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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457180">Yobitsugi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest'>deepestbluest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Gen, Implied/Referenced Canonical Child Abuse, M/M, Pre-Slash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:08:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hashirama makes up his mind the day Itama dies. His brother’s death isn't what convinces him, nor is his father’s anger. He can tolerate their fights. He can pick himself up, rub the sting out of his skin, and be a good ninja.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Senju Hashirama &amp; Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama &amp; Uchiha Madara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Yobitsugi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yobitsugi: (n) in bonsai, a type of grafting whereby a tree with roots is grafted onto a stock tree; the graft and stock trees can coalesce with each other through an early proliferation of wound callus (<a href="https://bonsai.shikoku-np.co.jp/en/word/2009/04/post-182.html">x</a>)</p><p>Once again, big thanks to jessicamiriamdrew for looking over the first draft for me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hashirama makes up his mind the day Itama dies. His brother’s death isn't what convinces him, nor is his father’s anger. He can tolerate their fights. He can pick himself up, rub the sting out of his skin, and be a good ninja. Anything that happens to him, he can endure, but he isn't the only son Butsuma has.</p><p>There's a bruise on Tobirama's cheek and his little brother won't look at him.</p><p>“What are you making that face for?” Tobirama asks. His back is turned as he dips his hands into the water bucket and scrubs his hands over his face.</p><p>He doesn't do it gently.</p><p>“How do you know what face I'm making?” Hashirama asks. Tobirama always seems to know how Hashirama feels, but he never says how he knows. “You haven't looked above my feet since I found you.”</p><p>“You're my brother,” Tobirama tells the bucket. “How can I protect you if I don't know what you're thinking?”</p><p>He's got it backwards. Hashirama is supposed to be the one doing the protecting.</p><p>Even though Tobirama has been avoiding him, Hashirama is the older brother. It's his job to keep Tobirama safe.</p><p>Itama and Kawarama are dead. Tobirama only has Hashirama now.</p><p>Crossing his arms, Hashirama asks. “How many times?”</p><p>“Don't ask me that.”</p><p>“How many times, Tobirama?”</p><p>“I don't know,” Tobirama lies.</p><p>Hashirama grits his teeth. “Tobirama.”</p><p>His brother doesn't answer.</p><p>“Was it because of me?”</p><p>He doesn't get an answer to this either.</p><p>“Tobirama,” Hashirama says again. His heart is in his throat. Stupid, silent little brother- Tobirama wouldn't have said anything if Hashirama hadn't caught him. “When Father says he needs to talk to you after he and I fight, is this what he means? Is this what happens when I argue with him?”</p><p>Tobirama shrugs. “Adults are stupid, brother. Who knows why they do the things they do?”</p><p>He still won't turn around and look at Hashirama, and Hashirama's heart breaks.</p><p>“I'm sorry.”</p><p>“Why? It's not like you made him do it.”</p><p>It's that simple. Tobirama is always overthinking things, but this is a simple fact to him.</p><p>Hashirama comes to a decision. “Do you trust me?”</p><p>At that, Tobirama finally looks over. His face is pinched in a frown. His cheek is still swollen. “Of course.”</p><p>“If I tell you to go to the river with me, will you do it? And not tell anyone?”</p><p>“I'm not running away.”</p><p>“We aren't running away.” Hashirama puts on his most confident smile. “We’re going out to train on our own.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>“You do know he's an Uchiha, right?” Tobirama asks as he ducks through the break in the brush Hashirama is holding open for him. He sounds bored.</p><p>Hashirama doesn't fall for it. “Who’s an Uchiha?”</p><p>“The friend you meet at the river- the one we’re going to see.”</p><p>“I don’t remember saying anything about friends.”</p><p>Tobirama sighs. “You sneak off without telling anyone, and when you come back, your chakra is different. It isn't that hard to put two and two together.”</p><p>He crosses his arms as Hashirama falls into step with him.</p><p>“What's wrong with my chakra?” Hashirama asks. He nudges Tobirama’s shoulder, wordlessly telling him to head east again. “It doesn't feel wrong.”</p><p>Tobirama changes direction wordlessly. “It isn't <em>wrong.</em> It's <em>different.”</em></p><p>“You aren't making sense.”</p><p>“I guess if you aren't a sensor, it wouldn't. You guys don't think about chakra except hitting people with it.”</p><p>“That isn't an answer, you know.”</p><p>“If you spill ink on your hand, the ink is still ink and your hand is still your hand, right?” Tobirama asks, voice sharp. “Chakra is like ink. When you spend time around other people, your chakras touch. You're still you and other people are still themselves, but there's a smudge of that other chakra.</p><p>“Ink will fade in time. So do the smudges of chakra. But the more time you spend with someone, the longer their chakra stays on you. If you aren't careful, their chakra will stain you. Or, if you really like them, your chakras will mix.”</p><p>He frowns up at the sky. “You can't unmix ink, brother. Once someone gets into your heart, they stay there. Some of their chakra will always be in you- something you should be careful of when your friend is an Uchiha.”</p><p>It can be difficult to tell with Tobirama, who hasn't been happy in years, but there's an edge to his voice.</p><p>Hashirama thinks of Madara and their river and wonders how much of their father’s chakra must live in his little brother.</p><p>“Is that such a bad thing? That Madara is an Uchiha?”</p><p>Tobirama doesn't answer.</p><p>Hashirama stops. “Is it?”</p><p>Tobirama stops, too. “You don't understand.”</p><p>“So explain it to me.”</p><p>“I can't.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I don't want you to understand.”</p><p>A muscle in Tobirama’s jaw flexes as his eyes focus on a point over Hashirama’s shoulder. Hashirama has known Tobirama all his life; he can put together every sign of how Tobirama is feeling.</p><p>Refusing to speak is anger.</p><p>Not meeting Hashirama’s eyes is shame.</p><p>“I need you to tell me, Tobirama.”</p><p>“I'm not like you,” Tobirama says. “I can't just smile and forgive. Every day I feel what they did. Running off and making friends is easy when you're allowed to forget.”</p><p>“Forget? Forget what? Our brothers?” Hashirama’s own anger builds. “You think I don't care?”</p><p>Tobirama stares straight ahead. “I think you don't feel our brothers’ absence like I do.”</p><p>He's wrong. He's so certain he knows what's true but he's wrong and Hashirama wants to yell at him. “So you don't want peace. You want revenge like Itama said we should get. Even though you told him that was stupid, you still-”</p><p>“I can't escape their chakra,” Tobirama snaps. “It's like ink, remember? Dying doesn't get rid of ink. It doesn't get rid of chakra either. I have to knead chakra all the time to check the walls and keep our family safe, and I feel them. Every day, I go looking for chakra. I always find theirs, and it feels like they're still alive.”</p><p>How can Tobirama complain about feeling a remnant of their brothers? All Hashirama has are empty spaces.</p><p>“Don't you like being able to feel them?” he asks.</p><p>“No,” Tobirama says flatly. “No, I don't like feeling my brothers’ chakra when I know they're dead. They aren't here anymore- that's what dying means.”</p><p>“But it's nice, isn't it?” Hashirama argues. “They aren't really gone.”</p><p>Tobirama shakes his head. “What if Itama and Kawarama can't make it to the Pure Land because some of their spirits are still here in their chakra? What if they can't find peace?</p><p>“Do you really think it's comforting to feel someone who's dead? I wake up sometimes and I think they’re alive because their chakra doesn't feel dead. Living things can't. Every time I have to find you, I feel traces of them and a part of me starts to think that maybe they aren't dead. I know they are, but I can't tell, brother. What if that drives me insane like-”</p><p>He shuts his mouth, but he said enough.</p><p>Hashirama reaches for Tobirama's arm.</p><p>Good little brother that he is, Tobirama allows it. He turns his head away, but he lets Hashirama hold his arm just below the elbow.</p><p>“Are you scared of becoming like Mother?” Hashirama asks.</p><p>Tobirama doesn't answer.</p><p>Their mother used to refuse to speak when she was upset, too. The day she died, she hadn't said a word in a week.</p><p>Using his hold on Tobirama’s arm, Hashirama swings it up and over.</p><p>Caught off-guard, Tobirama startles as Hashirama smacks him with his own hand.</p><p>“Ow! Brother!”</p><p>“You're aren't like her,” Hashirama tells him firmly.</p><p>Tobirama blinks at him, surprised into silence. His mouth is open like he's going to argue, but for the first time in years, Tobirama can't find anything to say.</p><p>Hashirama knows he wants to, just as he knows Tobirama won't come up with anything.</p><p>Releasing Tobirama, Hashirama says, “If you're done thinking stupid things, we should hurry up.”</p><p>Tobirama shakes himself. “Let's go.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>“Couldn't they follow our chakra?” Hashirama asks. They just reached the river, and Tobirama has been quiet since he mentioned their mother.</p><p>“No,” Tobirama says. He narrows his eyes at Madara’s side of the river and doesn't offer any explanation.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“Mother and Uncle were the only other good sensors in our family. Unless someone had already been kneading chakra to keep track of us, which they weren't, we’re too far for them to find just by feeling.”</p><p>There's a note of finality in his voice, but his lips are lifted in something like triumph. He's been pessimistic for so long, Hashirama had forgotten he wasn't always so certain of doom, but talking about their mother and uncle reminded Hashirama that his brother used to be just as hopeful as Hashirama.</p><p>“How do you know nobody’s been looking for us? They may not be good sensors, but we all trained to-”</p><p>“I started kneading chakra before we left, and I haven't stopped. I’d feel it if someone else’s came near us. Speaking of- your friend isn't with them, but there are a few Uchiha sentries maybe half a kilometer away.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Tobirama shoots him a withering look. “Either I’m lying or I’m wrong, and I’m neither.”</p><p>Hashirama clears his throat. “Right. Of course.”</p><p>“Now that you understand, are you ready?”</p><p>This is the risky part.</p><p>Something will break if they stay with their father, but if the Uchihas kill them, the cycle will only get bloodier.</p><p>Hashirama can't keep sleeping in a room that's half empty out of loyalty to a man who’s only proud when they die, and he won't let Tobirama sleep there either.</p><p>“Yeah,” Hashirama says. “I'm ready.”</p><p>He matches his steps to his brother’s, and together, they cross the river.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>They're sprinting through the woods between the river and the place where Tobirama thinks there's a gathering of chakra that must be the Uchihas’ estate when Tobirama says, “If things go bad and only one of us can escape, it’s going to be you.”</p><p>Hashirama shakes his head. “Nothing will go wrong.”</p><p>“Don't rely on other people's good will,” Tobirama snaps. “Why do you think we’re doing this? Because people want to fight. If they'd kill our brothers, they won't be opposed to killing us, too.”</p><p>“Like we killed them?” Hashirama asks.</p><p>Tobirama turns his head to glare. “I never said our family is guiltless. They're just less likely to try to kill us.”</p><p>Chastised, Hashirama swallows his next objection. “I’ll keep you safe.”</p><p>“No, you’ll keep <em>yourself</em> safe. You're stronger than I am, and you've got a kekkei genkai. You're too important.”</p><p>Hashirama nearly trips over himself in surprise. “You know?”</p><p>“Of course I know. Covering up for you training with it is a pain.” Tobirama sighs. “If Father knew, he'd never let you leave the castle or he'd send you out constantly. Both are bad.”</p><p>He doesn't look at Hashirama, but he doesn't have to.</p><p>“Thank you,” Hashirama says.</p><p>Tobirama shrugs. “Why are you thanking me? I'm your brother, aren't I?”</p><p>Despite the situation, Hashirama feels himself smile. “I'm really lucky. I've got the best little brother.”</p><p>“Don't celebrate until we survive this,” Tobirama says flatly.</p><p>Even so, he slows a little, just enough to run next to Hashirama instead of in front.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>The Uchiha sentries surround them not far from the Uchiha estate.</p><p>Hashirama resists the urge to grab Tobirama’s arm. Showing concern would put both of them at risk.</p><p>“Is Madara around?” he asks. “He's my friend.”</p><p>The look Tobirama shoots him is scathing.</p><p>The looks he gets from the sentries range from skeptical to hostile.</p><p>“Madara knows me,” he tries again, only for Tobirama to sigh heavily.</p><p>“We’re Senjus who’ve come to you to defect,” he says flatly. “No other clan could resist pressure from our clan to send us back. Please let us stay.”</p><p>Two of the sentries exchange looks. When they return their attention to Hashirama and Tobirama, both of them have tomoe spinning in red irises; one only has two, the other three.</p><p>Hashirama can feel Tobirama’s growing discomfort.</p><p>“Uchiha Madara is a friend of mine,” he reminds them before Tobirama can get them in trouble. “If he's here, please tell him Hashirama is looking for him.”</p><p>He bows to show how much this means to him.</p><p>Tobirama sighs, but after a moment, he bows as well.</p><p>“If they kill us after this, I won't forgive you.”</p><p>Again, Hashirama has to fight a smile. So long as he doesn't outlive his brother, it wouldn't be so bad if the last thing he hears is one of Tobirama’s grumpy shows of loyalty.</p><p>One of the sentries facing them jerks his head, and Hashirama feels one of the men behind him depart.</p><p>“If this is a trap,” the sentry with two tomoe says, “we’ll kill the small one first.”</p><p>Tobirama doesn't object, and by gritting his teeth, neither does Hashirama.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Uchiha Tajima walks into view with the gravity his position as the head of his clan warrants.</p><p>Hashirama has seen him a few times but never up close.</p><p>He's about the same height as Butsuma but not as muscular. He really must be fast to have avoided being cut down. He has the same dark hair and fair skin Madara has, though his hair is cut shorter than any of the other Uchihas Hashirama has seen.</p><p>He's wearing the usual clothes his clan favors. Hashirama hasn't seen it, but he's certain there's an uchiwa on the back.</p><p>Expression carefully neutral, Tajima makes his way over to Hashirama and Tobirama.</p><p>He didn't bring anyone with him, but his eyes are red, Sharingan spinning slowly.</p><p>Hashirama swallows as he bows a second time.</p><p>Tobirama doesn't need to be encouraged to do the same.</p><p>“When two of my cousins claimed two Senju boys had come to defect, I’d thought I would have to punish them for making a dangerous joke,” Tajima says evenly. “Yet here you are.”</p><p>He isn't asking a question, so Hashirama doesn't say anything.</p><p>Tajima doesn't speak for a long moment either. When he does, he has a simple, impossible question.</p><p>“How are you going to prove you aren't laying a trap for us?”</p><p>Hashirama winces.</p><p>“I was thinking you'd give us a test,” he says.</p><p>Beside him, Tobirama sighs.</p><p>“Very well,” Tajima says evenly. “Kill your family.”</p><p>Heart in his throat, Hashirama chokes, “Please don't ask that-”</p><p>“No,” Tobirama says over him. He doesn't meet Hashirama’s eyes when Hashirama looks over at him sharply. “We aren't here because we hate our clan. We’re here because my brother is sentimental and trusts one of you.”</p><p>Tajima turns to Tobirama, expression mild. “Is that so? What would you propose I do with you?”</p><p>Tobirama shrugs. “You have the Sharingan. Hashirama and I already looked into your eyes. Just put us under an illusion and hold onto us for a while. See what our father does.”</p><p>“Tobirama,” Hashirama hisses. “What are you-”</p><p>“Did you really think this would be as simple as showing up and telling them you want to be friends?” Tobirama asks. He looks too exasperated for someone arguing for his life. “We were always going to be kept prisoner. At least this way your friend will know what kind of man the head of his clan is.”</p><p>Hashirama follows Tobirama’s gaze over Tajima's shoulder to a tree.</p><p>“Madara?” he calls. “Did you come, too, Madara?”</p><p>Tajima doesn't look. “I told you not to come.”</p><p>Madara steps around the tree and into view. “Sorry, Father.”</p><p>Hashirama blinks. Madara is Tajima’s son? But that would probably make him the next in line to become the head of his clan, just like Hashirama is of the Senju-</p><p>Tobirama’s annoyance is almost physical. Hashirama hadn't known who Madara is, but that must mean Madara didn't know who Hashirama is.</p><p>“We aren't spies,” Tombirama announces. “Just an idiot and his even stupider brother.”</p><p>“Which of you is which?” Madara asks. He winces after he says it, and Tajima shakes his head.</p><p>“You didn't come here just to play with my son,” he says. “Why are you really here?”</p><p>Hashirama knows what the answer is and hopes Madara’s family doesn't think he’s trying to exploit their reputation.</p><p>He reaches up slowly and lays his fingers on Tobirama’s cheek. It's still puffy from their father’s hand, the skin hot under Hashirama’s fingers. “We’re here because I don't want this to happen anymore.”</p><p>Tobirama clenches his jaw, but he doesn't knock Hashirama’s hand away.</p><p>“Please let us stay,” Hashirama says, turning to face Tajima.</p><p>He drops to his hands and knees and lays his head one the ground between his hands.</p><p>“Please let us stay! If not both of us, then please look after Tobirama!”</p><p>Something bumps into him from the side, knocking Hashirama to the ground on his side.</p><p>He looks over quickly and finds Tobirama glaring at him, fists clenched.</p><p>“If you aren't going to stay, then neither am I,” Tobirama spits. “I only came along in the first place because you were so upset. If only one of us can stay, it's going to be you.</p><p>“After all, I hate Uchihas.”</p><p>Hashirama blinks up at his brother in surprise.</p><p>Tobirama is always angry. He's even angrier than their father; he just hides it better. Hashirama has seen that anger clearly, but he's never seen it directed at him. He's never seen it directed at anyone. It just lives in Tobirama’s chest, seething and furious.</p><p>“I'm not going to stay in the home of a family that slaughters ours if you aren't there.” Tobirama shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. “Think before you speak.”</p><p>Hashirama stares at him, wrong-footed by the outburst.</p><p>It doesn't immediately sink in that Tobirama might have just ruined their chance at escaping their father's reach.</p><p>Tajima looks between them. “Madara, go back. Bring Izuna to the training ground.”</p><p>Hashirama looks over in time to see Madara nod and take off.</p><p>“Get up, Senju Hashirama,” Tajima orders. “Your father is going to come looking for the two of you. I don't want to be out here when he and the rest of your clan arrive.”</p><p>Hashirama scrambles to his feet and hurries to stand in front of Tajima, as he's directed to do.</p><p>Tobirama silently does the same.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Tajima guides them to an open area inside the outermost wall of his castle.</p><p>Madara is waiting there already. The boy next to him must be his brother, Izuna.</p><p>“If you want to stay,” Tajima says, “you have to prove yourselves. Izuna, you’ll go first. The younger Senju will be your opponent.”</p><p>Hashirama looks up at him, confused.</p><p>Tajima looks down at him evenly. “I’ve seen how Madara looks when he comes back from the river. You can keep up with him. We can't afford to hold onto people who can't earn their keep, so your brother will have to show us he can pull his weight.”</p><p>He pushes Tobirama forward pointedly.</p><p>Hashirama looks over at Madara, who looks as worried as Hashirama must.</p><p>Their brothers have twin blank expressions.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>When they spar together, Hashirama always takes care not to go too hard on Tobirama; his brother just isn't much of a fighter. He can wear Hashirama down because he's faster, but Tobirama just doesn't have the kind of power it takes to win a fight against someone who can catch him.</p><p>As Tobirama and Izuna collide yet again, Hashirama hardly recognizes his little brother.</p><p>Tobirama is bleeding from cuts all over his body. He’s barely dodging when Izuna swipes at him, the blade of his kunai aimed for Tobirama’s throat. His inner thigh. His gut.</p><p>Izuna isn't as fast as Hashirama. Tobirama should be able to dodge him easily. Tobirama could dodge him easily.</p><p>So why isn't he? Why is Tobirama letting Izuna get so close?</p><p>Izuna forms a series of seals and blows a fireball at Tobirama.</p><p>Tobirama forms a series of his own, calling up a wall of water maybe twice his height that evaporates as the fireball hits it.</p><p>Hashirama has seen Tobirama do that technique before. It's a standard wall everyone who knows water release can do.</p><p>Why did Tobirama have to make the full series of seals? Why is his wall so small?</p><p>“What's going on?” Hashirama can't help but ask. “What's wrong with him?”</p><p>Tajima hums thoughtfully. “I wonder.”</p><p>Jumping back, Tobirama makes another set of seals- again, more than he needs- and bends low, spitting out enough water that the ground turns to mud.</p><p>“I won't fall for that!” Izuna shouts.</p><p>He launches himself at a nearby tree and runs up it, disappearing into the leaves.</p><p>Tobirama closes his eyes.</p><p>Anxiety growing, Hashirama shifts his weight. He knows exactly where Izuna is. There's a break in the leaves. If Tobirama would just move a little-</p><p>Three blades fly at Tobirama.</p><p>He dodges them, then plucks them from the ground.</p><p>“Stupid,” he says flatly. “You're really stupid.”</p><p>Izuna must shout something back, but Hashirama doesn't hear it.</p><p>Tobirama’s plan clicks.</p><p>The tree Izuna’s in shakes as Tobirama throws himself at it, the speed he'd been missing earlier suddenly restored, and races up the trunk. Hashirama watches, dread growing, Tobirama tackles Izuna, and the two of them tumble out of the tree.</p><p>Izuna lands first, and in the mud, he struggles to get enough traction to make it to his feet.</p><p>Tobirama is on his feet before Izuna even gets one leg under him.</p><p>Hashirama watches Izuna reach for a weapon and feels his gut sink as he realizes Tobirama hasn't just been playing at being tired.</p><p>All of Izuna's weapons are gone, gathered up by Tobirama and tossed out of reach.</p><p>The only one Izuna can possibly get is the one Tobirama is holding.</p><p>“I'm not sorry,” Tobirama says, fixing his hold on Izuna’s kunai and taking a step toward him. “I have to do this for my brother.”</p><p>Without meaning to, Hashirama shouts his brother’s name.</p><p>Tobirama doesn't pause. He walks over to Izuna, who’s caked in mud and struggling desperately.</p><p>Hashirama takes a step forward, but Tajima grabs his wrist.</p><p>“What are you-”</p><p>“If your brother is going to stay here, he's going to have to make difficult decisions,” Tajima says. “This is the first.”</p><p>On the other side of Tajima, Madara is snarling threats, but he, too, is being held in place by Tajima.</p><p>“Don't, Tobirama!” Hashirama shouts. “We’ll leave! We’ll go back together!”</p><p>“You think you’ll be allowed to do that?” Tajima asks. “You've been inside our home. Either you stay loyal to us or you die.”</p><p>Hashirama struggles against him, but Tajima’s using chakra to reinforce his grip.</p><p>Across the training area, Tobirama reaches Izuna.</p><p>He's always so angry. He doesn't know how to forgive people, and he doesn't want to learn.</p><p>Hashirama can't even draw that anger towards himself by interfering because Tajima won't let him make a seal.</p><p>“Tobirama, please!” Hashirama calls. “He's just a kid! We don't want more kids to die, right? Right? Tobi, please!”</p><p>The nickname slips out, and Hashirama curses himself.</p><p>He hasn't used it since the last time their mother said it.</p><p>Madara is struggling hard, too, his own voice still hurling threats at Tobirama and desperate pleas to Izuna, but he can't get free either.</p><p>Tobirama says nothing as he raises the kunai and brings it down.</p><p>And back.</p><p>Down and back, missing Izuna completely but flying straight for Tajima’s arm</p><p>Tajima lets go before the kunai makes contact.</p><p>Freed, Hashirama springs away, looking over just in time to see Tobirama whip around, abandoning Izuna in favor of making the single seal Hashirama expects.</p><p>A second later, a wall of water shoots up between Hashirama and Tajima.</p><p>“What are you standing there for!” Tobirama shouts. “Run!”</p><p>Hashirama shakes his head and runs toward Tobirama. They go together or not at all.</p><p>Hashirama can't outlive any more brothers. He won't.</p><p>Tobirama opens his mouth, probably to yell at Hashirama, only to close it sharply when two Uchihas grab him, one on either side.</p><p>Two more appear on either side of Hashirama. They hold Hashirama's arms apart.</p><p>The ones holding Tobirama aren't just holding his wrists; they're holding his hands, too, keeping him from forming single-handed seals.</p><p>Tobirama can't do those yet, but it's smart to be careful.</p><p>Madara, arm still caught in his father’s grasp, has stopped struggling, suddenly quiet.</p><p>“Well,” Tajima says mildly, “that was illuminating.”</p><p>Hashirama swallows a wave of fear. “Please-”</p><p>Tajima gives him a sharp look, and Hashirama closes his mouth.</p><p>“Madara’s friend can stay,” Tajima continues, resuming as if Hashirama hadn't interrupted. “As for the little brother… They're a set. So long as the older brother is loyal to us, he will be, too, but we live in uncertain times.</p><p>“Well, Senju Tobirama? What will you do if your brother dies?”</p><p>Tobirama doesn't hesitate. “I'll leave.”</p><p>“Tobirama!” Hashirama hisses.</p><p>“What? It's the truth. And I don't like the way they manipulated us.”</p><p>“They what?”</p><p>Tobirama tilts his head. “That isn't Madara, just like I wasn't fighting Izuna. They're transformed adults. Right?”</p><p>Tajima nods, and both Madara and Izuna disappear in clouds of clouds of smoke, only to be replaced by a woman and a man at least ten years older than Madara and Izuna.</p><p>“When did you figure it out?” Tajima asks.</p><p>“Izuna was swinging awkwardly.” Tobirama huffs. “It's disconcerting to use a henge and become someone who's a very different size, especially as an adult.”</p><p>“So you knew you wouldn't kill Izuna.”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>Hashirama lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“It was smart that you didn't risk a kid like that,” Tobirama allows. “I might have killed him for real.”</p><p>“That's true. It’s surprising that you didn’t try to kill the adult.”</p><p>“What would the point of that be? I'd only kill one of you and you'd kill Hashirama or worse.”</p><p>“What cruel arithmetic. I wonder if you mean it.” Tajima waves at the people holding Hashirama and Tobirama, and the moment they let go, Hashirama runs over to Tobirama.</p><p>He replaces the last person’s hand with his own.</p><p>“What was the point of this?” Hashirama asks. “Why would you make us think Tobirama was supposed to kill Izuna?”</p><p>“To test how willing I was to do it,” Tobirama says.</p><p>“To test your brother’s priorities,” Tajima corrects. He smiles crookedly. “He didn't kill my son. He had the chance to, but he chose to save his brother over killing an enemy. Unusual for a Senju.”</p><p>Hashirama feels the prickle of Tobirama gathering chakra and squeezes his arm.</p><p>“Does that mean we can stay?” he asks, giving his brother a significant look.</p><p>“It means we’ll see.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“That's fine,” Tobirama says. “What happens next?”</p><p>“Next,” Tajima says, “you two are going to help me plan for your family’s attack.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Madara is pacing around the room Tajima leads them to.</p><p>He freezes when he sees his father, and his eyes widen when he spots Hashirama and Tobirama.</p><p>“They can stay,” Tajima says. “For now.”</p><p>Izuna’s head pops out as he peers around Madara.</p><p>“So he didn't kill me?”</p><p>“Not yet,” Tobirama mutters.</p><p>Hashirama elbows him, and with a grunt, Tobirama says, “No, I didn't.”</p><p>Madara’s brother looks between them dubiously.</p><p>“Sit,” Tajima says, motioning for the four of them to sit down around him. “The Senjus will be here soon, I’m sure. There won't be any use in your friends defecting if their clan destroys our home.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Hashirama and Tobirama are in a room on their own, settled in matching worn futons, excused for the night while the Uchihas make plans beyond their hearing, when Hashirama asks.</p><p>“Hey, Tobirama?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Is that why Mother did what she did? The chakra?”</p><p>Tobirama makes a soft, considering noise.</p><p>Hashirama likes that about his little brother. Tobirama calls him stupid and dismisses a lot of Hashirama's questions as proof of that, but when Hashirama asks him something serious, Tobirama does think about it.</p><p>“You remember her better than I do,” Tobirama says after a while, “but Uncle died before her, right?”</p><p>“A little more than a year before, yeah.”</p><p>Tobirama draws a long, deep breath in, then lets it out slowly. “Then no,” he says. “She was a better sensor than I am. If she was going to go insane because of someone dying, it would have been over him, and if I’m like this after months, it would have happened faster for her.”</p><p>That isn't the answer Hashirama had wanted. “Then what happened? Why did she do what she did?”</p><p>“I don't know. She didn't tell me.”</p><p>“You must have a theory.”</p><p>Tobirama always has a theory.</p><p>Hashirama knows he's right by the sound Tobirama makes.</p><p>“Remember what I said about chakra being like ink?”</p><p>“Yeah. Did her chakra mix wrong or something?”</p><p>“I think it was the opposite.”</p><p>“It didn't mix? Why?”</p><p>“Everybody says she was in love with Father, but who does Father love?” There’s a rustling sound as Tobirama turns in his futon. “She realized he wouldn't love her, or us. She was sad, and she didn't want us to be sad like her. Killing us was supposed to be a kindness.”</p><p>He says it so simply that Hashirama clenches his fists.</p><p>“Did she say something to you, Tobirama?”</p><p>“She did.”</p><p>“And you didn't tell me?”</p><p>Tobirama doesn't say anything for a long time.</p><p>“She said she wished she'd married an Uchiha so we would've been loved. She apologized for making me a sensor like her. She made me promise to be more careful with love than she was. Then she cried until Father took her away.”</p><p>The futon rustles again. Tobirama hides when he's sad.</p><p>Hashirama sits up and crawls on his hands and knees over the tatami mats to where Tobirama is lying.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Tobirama yelps as Hashirama drops down on top of him. “Hashirama!”</p><p>“I’m glad she didn't kill you,” Hashirama tells him, squeezing Tobirama in the hardest hug he can and making his brother squirm. “You aren't going to go crazy because I won't let you.”</p><p>“You can't promise that.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? Then what did I just do?”</p><p>“You're so annoying,” Tobirama complains. “Get off me.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Hashirama!”</p><p>“You're not like Mother.”</p><p>“I know that.”</p><p>“Do you?”</p><p>Tobirama sighs, put upon. “I know I’m not going to try to kill you.”</p><p>Hashirama doesn't let go of him.</p><p>“Brother, I can't breathe.”</p><p>“Don't go back,” Hashirama orders, not letting go. “I know you didn't want to come, but you'll still feel Itama and Kawarama back there. Madara’s father said our plan could work. Tomorrow might be a good day.”</p><p>“Is that why you're being so weird?” Tobirama asks. “You think I'm going to leave?”</p><p>Hashirama hesitates, and Tobirama groans.</p><p>“You're so stupid. Just because I didn't want to come doesn't mean I'm going to leave.” Voice dropping, he mumbles, “I’m not going to abandon you here on your own.”</p><p>“You promise?”</p><p>“Are you going to get up if I say yes?”</p><p>“Only if you let me do one more thing.”</p><p>“Hurry up before I suffocate…”</p><p>Sitting up, Hashirama holds his hand out over Tobirama’s cheek. He concentrates on the heat where Tobirama’s face is swollen and thinks about Tobirama’s body pushing the heat and pain away.</p><p>His hand glows, and Tobirama’s cheek heals.</p><p>“You shouldn't waste your chakra,” Tobirama grouses.</p><p>Hashirama flicks Tobirama’s nose. “Healing my little brother isn't a waste.”</p><p>“You know what I mean. You're going to have to deal with Father tomorrow and your kekkei genkai is still hard to control.”</p><p>“How did you figure that out, anyway?”</p><p>“Chakra natures feel different. Your mokuton doesn't feel like anything anyone else does.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“It's easy to find you when you use it, so you should be more careful. Anybody paying attention near you would be able to feel it. If I hadn't gotten to you first, someone else would have.”</p><p>There's a distinct <em>are you stupid? </em>in Tobirama’s voice.</p><p>“You didn't tell Father.”</p><p>Tobirama shrugs. “He’d just get mad.”</p><p>Hashirama can't help it; he crushes Tobirama in another hug.</p><p>“Would you stop?” Tobirama whines.</p><p>He doesn't struggle as hard as before.</p><p>“Besides, I knew you'd come here eventually,” Tobirama says. “It was in your chakra.”</p><p>Hashirama nearly lets go in surprise. “You can see the future?”</p><p>“No. Madara’s chakra mixed with yours, and I know you. You'll never be happy if our clans keep fighting. Of course you'd come here eventually.”</p><p>Hashirama closes his eyes and lays his head on Tobirama’s shoulder. “Thank you, Tobi-chan.”</p><p>Tobirama doesn’t object to the nickname, and Hashirama’s heart feels like it might break his ribs. His adorable little brother isn't gone. He was just hiding.</p><p>“Stop thanking me,” Tobirama tells him. “We’re brothers, aren't we?”</p><p>“We are,” Hashirama agrees. “Tomorrow is going to hurt, isn't it?”</p><p>“It is. And it will hurt even more if you don't go back to your own futon and sleep.”</p><p>Hashirama hears the threat and smiles. “What if I'm more comfortable here?”</p><p>“Then at least let go so I can breathe,” Tobirama grumbles. “Unlike you and your Uchihas, I had to fight an adult and help plan with our clan’s enemies how to fight them without giving away too much.”</p><p>Surprised- he'd been certain Tobirama wouldn't actually help when Tajima took him aside- Hashirama gets up and fumbles in the dark for his futon. When he finds it, he pulls it over next to Tobirama’s and climbs back in.</p><p>His brother’s sigh is too cute not to make Hashirama smile.</p><p>“Hey, Tobirama?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Try not to snore so loud they kick us out.”</p><p>Tobirama mumbles something under his breath and turns over so his back is to Hashirama.</p><p>Pleased with his work, Hashirama closes his eyes and lets his mind relax into the hope that after tomorrow, Tobirama will spend the rest of his life complaining about how annoying Hashirama is.</p><p>He’ll be so happy, he won't be afraid of mixing chakras, and Hashirama will get to spend a long, long time with him.</p><p>There's a warmth in his chakra that doesn't belong to him, and he knows Madara is thinking about Izuna the way Hashirama is thinking about Tobirama and feeling the same way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! I'm posting nonsense on <a href="https://asotin.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> if you want to say hi</p></blockquote></div></div>
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